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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26694034">Ineffable Parents</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilWitch_OfDahForest/pseuds/LilWitch_OfDahForest'>LilWitch_OfDahForest</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman &amp; Terry Pratchett</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), He/Him Pronouns For Aziraphale (Good Omens), He/Him Pronouns For Crowley (Good Omens), Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Ineffable Idiots (Good Omens), M/M, Multi, Snake Crowley (Good Omens)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 04:48:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,559</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26694034</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilWitch_OfDahForest/pseuds/LilWitch_OfDahForest</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>It isn't possible for angels and demons to procreate. They don't even have a sex for a start. It is a human thing and a human thing alone.<br/>So what would heaven and hell say when they find out that somehow the angel Aziraphale and the demon Crowley had a daughter, in a 20 year old's body, born from a giant nightlight?<br/>Well... they would be concerned for starters.<br/>And what would they also say if that aforementioned daughter had made a friend group including three demons and that other angel they had lost track of? Yeah defiantly more then concerned for sure...</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Ineffable Parents</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'd just like to note that the depictions of violence tag doesn't come into play for quite a while, about chapter three, and it is a bit nasty. So if you aren't into that stuff... like knives... then I'd turn away before you get invested.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Wednesday 31st October 2018 - 9°C – Cloudy – 19:24</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>It had been a while since Armageddon't and no one had really been keeping up to date since. Well asides from Anathema who knew it had been about 2 months. Of course they could use google but that’s just excessive.</p><p>But what was for sure is that Halloween was just around the corner and everyone was excited.</p><p>The Them were preparing for the day, making their costumes and an action plan for were they’d be looking for the sweets. They had jotted down the names of everyone in the village and Pepper got three packs of spooky stickers from the local Co-op to signify who would have sweets and who wouldn’t.</p><p>A bat sticker meant that they wouldn’t be giving out sweets.</p><p>A spider sticker meant they would be out of town.</p><p>A pumpkin sticker meant they’d have average sweets.</p><p>A candy corn sticker meant they’d have good sweets.</p><p>And finally, a demon sticker meant they would happily give them a bucket ton of sweets. Of course this sticker was exclusive to Anathema and Newt, their parents, and an arguably devilish couple.</p><p>The Ineffable pair had promised The Them that they would pacifically come over to lower Tadfield to hand out sweets. But this was mainly a lie as Anathema was hosting a party in the town hall, but they didn’t know that at the time. So giving The Them their sweets wouldn’t be too difficult.</p><p>The only problem was that Heaven and Hell would be sending spies to catch up on the rogue Angel and Demon. They had planned to send out their people discretely and hadn’t thought that the other side would do the same thing. So it ended up being a glorified date between The Archangel Fucking Gabriel and The Duke of Hell Beelzebub. They didn't even cause any trouble, and you'll be learning why later.</p><p>This Halloween was going to be one to remember, that was defiantly for sure.</p><p> </p><p>So the night had finally come. The Them were out trick or treating, Anathema and Newt where adding their finishing touches to the cake and decorations, and all the guests were starting to drive up to the town hall.</p><p>The outside of the hall was dolled up to looked like a grave yard, even if there was a graveyard just round the corner, and Newt had rented a couple projectors which would make images of ghosts appear on the walls. But as Newt does… He broke them. The Them and Anathema had went out and bought a bunch of foam gravestones and orange and purple fairy lights in replace.</p><p> </p><p>Back in London, Aziraphale was running around his bookshop trying to find the demon horns which he had bought with his costume. How he had come to lost them was rather funny but a bit too long of a story for a quick comedic comment.</p><p>He was running so very, very late for the party and was obviously having a panic attack. If that’s even possible for angels. And that's not evening mentioning the fact that he had forgotten to get sweets for The Them. He defiantly wasn’t thinking straight, not like he ever does anyway.<br/>During this fury based rampage, Crowley had walked in dressed as an Angel. The two had decided to basically dress as each other, it was Aziraphale’s idea, and it was obvious the two had done it last second.</p><p>“Angel?” Crowley calls out into the bookshop concerned by the mess.</p><p>“Yes!?” Aziraphale asks popping up from a pile of books.</p><p>“Are… are you ok?” He asks closing the door and trying to navigate his way around to his Angel.</p><p>“Yes! Why do you ask?”</p><p>Crowley goes quiet, vaguely gesturing to the entire shop.</p><p>“Oh, right,” He mumbles, standing up and brushing down his red jacket. “I can’t find the horns.”</p><p>“Can’t you just… miracle them into your hands?” Crowley asks, raising an eyebrow.</p><p>Aziraphale pauses. Narrows his eyes. Thinks about it. Sighs. And the plastic red horns appear in his hands with a puff of holy light.</p><p>Crowley tries his best not to chuckle as Aziraphale puts the horns on, amongst his fluffy white hair and almost disappearing, while rolling his eyes.</p><p>“It’s not that funny,” He says defensively, crossing his arms and quickly cleaning up the shop with yet another miracle.</p><p>“It really is-,” Crowley says, losing the battle to laughter.</p><p>“It’s not like you’ve haven’t forgotten about your demonic powers before, I could probably name three times you’ve forgotten,” Aziraphale says, puffing out his cheeks and narrowing his eyes.</p><p>“Alright-" He pauses, wheezing, "Name them,” Crowley says, temporarily stopping his laughing fit to speak.</p><p>Aziraphale goes quiet, trying to remember. But he was stumped. If Crowley had forgotten about his powers before it would have either been when Aziraphale wasn’t around or Aziraphale just couldn’t remember.</p><p>He could remember multiple times when he’d forgot about something demonic he had done before. Azi remembered a time when he had glued a 50p coin to the pavement and then try and pick it up the next day, but nothing of the: Tried making cookies and half way through remember “Oh yeh, I have demonic powers” and then magiced up cookies and left the half made batch in the kitchen. Seems like something he’d do but Aziraphale had no proof.</p><p>I have proof, of course, but he doesn't.</p><p>“Dammit” he thought to himself. He would never say it aloud, for obvious reasons, but has sworn twice before. Both with very comedic results. But has sworn off it ever since. So thinking them is the best we are going to get.</p><p>The pause draws out for another couple of seconds. Crowley’s grin grows and grows until it couldn't grow anymore without distorting his face like one of those mods for the Sims game those Youtubers had an obsession with for a bit. He begins to chuckle again making Aziraphale blush, embarrassed.</p><p>“Stop laughing…” Aziraphale groans, crossing his arms.</p><p>“–You’re such an idiot…” Crowley laughs, slowly walking over to his Angel and wrapping his arms around his waist.</p><p>“I am not!” Aziraphale says offended, acting grumpy.</p><p>“You are.”</p><p>“I am not…”</p><p>“You are,”</p><p>“I am not–”</p><p>Aziraphale is cut off by a loud crash from the back of the shop. Alerting them both, for different reasons, making them both peer over their shoulder.</p><p>A ball of light had appeared behind the book shelves, floating just above the ground. It was a pure white glow that had a slight gold tint. Heat seemed to radiate off it. It wasn’t an unholy heat wave sort of heat, but a comfortable soft heat which felt similarly to a warm summer morning. Not the heat that makes you sweat or the heat that is so dry you need a drink, but a nice middle ground.</p><p>“What… what is that…” Crowley stutters.</p><p>“I don’t know,” Aziraphale says deadpan, still a little mad at Crowley. Usually he would just ignore Crowley after an argument but this light was seriously concerning. He would just ignore him later. Probably.</p><p>The two separate from the hug, ‘accidently’ holding hands in the process, while walking slowly towards the ominous glow.</p><p>While slowly walking up to it, through the close knit book shelves and house plants hanging down from the ceiling, Aziraphale quickly noticed how the closer they got the warmer the air became. Not by a huge amount, but noticeable.</p><p>Stood right in front of it, Aziraphale holds out a hand to touch it. Crowley looked at him and scowled. Ignoring Crow's obviously attempt to stop him from inconveniently discorporate himself, Aziraphale touches the surface of the fuzzy light. It was warmer to the touch and felt like it was pulsing. Almost like a heartbeat.</p><p>“It’s… love?” Aziraphale says confused, taking his hand back.</p><p>“Love?”</p><p>“I can sense it… Its love…” He mumbles, tightening his grip and making Crowley suddenly aware that there were IN FACT holding hands. Aziraphale seemed unaware of it though. But you can never really know with him. “But… but how?” Crowley asks acting as if he didn’t just notice the two of them holding hands. But it was obvious. Luckily for him though, Aziraphale was more focused on the giant nightlight in his bookshop at the time. But like I said. You never really know with him.</p><p>“I… don’t know,” Aziraphale whispers, holding his hand back out to touch it.</p><p>Crowley too pulls up his free arm, his hand quivering in a way that makes him look both cold and anxious... which he was but that's not the point, and touches the light. It was warm. It felt alive. It was alive.</p><p>By his touch, the soft golden glow turned a light grey. At first Aziraphale turned to Crowley with a toxic look on his face, concerned that he had possibly killed it. He is a demon and this seemed to be a holy thing. But turning back to the light it was glowing brighter, felt warmer, and the pulsing intensified. Not by much. Not much at all. But it was noticeable.</p><p> </p><p>Little did they know that that soft glow would change their lives forever… Well, they knew it may shake up some things. Maybe become a bit of a burden… but they didn’t expect it to escalate like it did.</p>
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